Meeeeeeeeemers

OK

276,374 notes

dannnylawrence:

unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.

Re: Your Anaconda,

Thank you for your consideration. Please keep my cover letter and resume in your files in case of any future openings. Good luck in all future endeavors.

Yours, etc.
A bunless hun

(via trilliansmut)

0 notes

andblackandgrey asked: I miss you x x x

Miss you too! Hey, what’s your mailing address? I’d like to send you fun letters in the mail!

9,961 notes

scamdal:

and you know what? here’s even MORE aus:

  • i keep callling tech support because you’re helpful and also your voice is really cute au
  • rival ice cream trucks au
  • you helped me get my kayak upright so we’re friends forever au
  • competitive buskers who eventually form a band au
  • pen pals who vent at each other every week au
  • newspaper advice columnists who passive-aggressively diss one another in their advice au
  • working at a theatre together during the midnight premiere of a blockbuster au

(Source: spookam, via gnomingabout)